Kites… Better to Fly Away

Image not available Kites… This restaurant is located in the heart of the mountain at Great Gorge in the Crystal Springs Resort Club. Therefore they have the ideal location to target visitors staying at the resort. Which would make one only assume that Kites would be a great dining choice for all guests of, not only Crystal Springs, but also the surrounding resorts and all visitors of the mountain in general.

After arriving at the mountain for the first time, we discussed the potential options for dinner (and drinks) and decided that the obviously the RESPONSIBLE option would be to go to Kites (no we do not condone drinking and driving. GET A CAB FOOLS!). After looking at the menu, it seems like not only a safe bet but a good one as well… DEAR LORD WERE WE MISTAKEN.

Her – Let me just clear one thing up: I am a pasta fanatic. If you give me a noodle in any form (no matter if it’s penne, spaghetti, tortellini) I will eat it. So when I went to Kites and saw one of the specials of the night was Fresh Spinach Ravioli’s with a Truffle Sage Cream Sauce accompanied by Seared Scallops nobody had to ask me twice what I was having. However I wish someone did….really really wish they did. First of all DO NOT put something on the menu that reads “Fresh Ravioli” if when I bite into it, it is overwhelming obvious those babies have been frozen. Secondly Kites is in New Jersey…New Jersey scallop fishing is some of the best in the country, but yet the rubbery consistency would lead you believe these too were frozen. Quite frankly I’ll give them a pass on that ONLY because they are located by Vernon and not the Jersey Shore. However I will not give Kites a pass on the fact that the part of the scallop facing down was burnt. What did they think because I couldn’t see that it was burnt I wouldn’t taste it??? Newsflash chef just because I am one of those people who judge the food with my eyes first does not mean I won’t taste it with my mouth!!!

Honestly I would have been more satisfied if I drove down to the 7/11 and got me a Big Gulp and some Funyuns.

Him – So, during our trip to Kites, there were 2 parts to the meal that didn’t totally crush my hopes. One was the Fondue, (and seriously, how hard is it to melt cheese and dip s**t in it? And lets be honest the diner does half the work anyway) The other part was the fact that the wine list was moderately priced. My meal consisted of an overdone lamb shank in a curry sauce with pureed sweet potatoes that were dry and fried green beans (that were the only thing I finished on this plate). Just a reminder to any other hopeful cooks out there, when you are asked to make something medium, DO NOT SERVE IT MEDIUM WELL. What is ultimately insane about this post is that there was a whole SECOND trip to Kites that should have been avoided.

On a wholly separate trip to the mountain, we decided to just go get some drinks and figured that we would just get some bar food because, well, you can’t REALLY mess up bar food, yet Kites succeed to let me down on that assumption… you would think a Chicken Quesadilla and an order of Fried Calamari would be a home run, but NO… the Chicken was dry, the onions and peppers were cut way too thick and the cheese was NOT melted nearly enough. The Calamari was frozen and OVERCOOKED to the point of the crust coming off and the calamari became rubber bands which I had to force myself to chew on until swallow-able.

We – Kites was one of the WORST and most disappointing dining experiences of our lives (and no we are not being dramatic). To this day the ONLY reason we remember exactly what we ate is because it has scarred us for life.

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